


Home

by Zeds_Dead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, One Shot, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 18:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead
Summary: "How long to pack away a whole existence?"





	Home

Each room lay full of their life together, trinkets and memories stacked up in heaps, recollections at every turn - the keepsake box they'd bought whilst on holiday, encrusted with tiny polished sea shells, the week that saw Levi fall in the ocean whilst trying to navigate stepping stones. Erwin smiled and ran a finger over the bumpy surface, felt each smooth contour and he laughed, remembering his husband plopping unceremoniously into the water feet-first, his new shoes totally ruined on day one. 

"Are you sure, Erwin?" 

He started at the voice, shoulders up for a second before Erwin relaxed again, Levi's ability to creep up on him still causing flashes of initial panic. 

"Yes Levi. It has to be done." 

"Fair enough." Levi sniffed and stood watch as Erwin packed the box away, carefully wrapped in newspaper. "Don't forget the others." 

"I won't." 

Weeks and months of agonising over this decision had weighed heavily upon Erwin, caused sleepless nights and heightened anxiety levels, things which he couldn't cope with anymore so the decision had been made yesterday over a bottle of whiskey, yet another souvenir from one of their trips to Scotland. 

"I can't believe you nearly drank it all, Erwin." 

"You helped." 

A tut was Levi's response after virtually reading his partner's mind and he was gone again, probably off to fuss over something in another room. Erwin was accustomed to this behaviour, actually found solace in not knowing exactly where Levi was at any given time as it allowed a kind of game, cat and mouse, but Erwin was never too sure which part he played. 

The house had grown large in recent years, bigger than required, their two children having flown the nest long ago. It was time. Time to move on from the cavernous home that stood proudly in expansive grounds which made Erwin's back ache just to think about - he was far too old for the ramshackle lawnmower now, no kids climbed on the treehouse anymore, no one tended to the flowerbeds, Levi's allergies preventing him from being within three feet of a dahlia. 

"And the rest." 

Erwin smiled kindly, a wistful expression creeping in and he stood tall, knees clicking in protest. He swept his palms together, dusting off imaginary dirt - this would take ages, he knew that. 

"How long to pack away a whole existence?" 

A loud sigh accompanied the query, deep and tired. Where did he even begin? In the attic amongst old vinyl records and their wedding tuxedos? The closets? Best to leave the essentials until last, Erwin concluded. Kitchen and bathrooms at the end, along with Levi's studio.

For nearly twenty four hours the choice to move home and downsize had lifted a solemn cloud from Erwin's shoulders, a mist replaced by utter confusion and a daunting prospect. He'd been out earlier to purchase packing materials, searches online had sourced viable removal companies and serious talks were held. If Levi had said no, this would not be happening. But, thankfully, he'd agreed, albeit with a grumpy demeanour and a shrug. 

"Wouldn't expect anything less." 

~~~~~~

The new residence was all arranged, deposits paid and the remaining balance promised upon the sale of their house, first-time buyers coming with the huge benefit of no chains to hold up completion. The family taking up proprietorship had seemed friendly at least; one child to make use of the garden, a professional couple planning on expanding their brood in the not too distance future - perfect, really. 

Choosing new owners had been important to both Erwin and Levi, prospective residents vetted closely in person and further still. Levi had disappeared frequently to do checks, took a fervent interest in exactly who would be pissing in his toilet and walking through his kitchen, an obsession forming which allowed Erwin to sort the packing in peace.

He'd enjoyed it, took the time to reminisce and evaluate life - something about trawling through decades of accumulated items provided a sense of peace, let Erwin say goodbye at his own pace and relive all those precious moments. Being parents. Late nights spent chatting over glasses of wine and take-out pizza. Vacations around the world during retirement. Love and companionship. They'd led a fulfilling existence. 

And now, after numerous trips to the dump, homeless shelters and the kid's respective homes, all of their remaining belongings sat boxed in a white van outside, four hours from the moment of departure. Erwin peered out the first floor window, checked that everything was in order before taking in a shaking breath, hands clenching into fists as he prepared himself for the worst. 

Levi's studio was his own space, much like Erwin's 'cave' in what used to be a bedroom, rows of books once lining the walls to mask his true intent - gaming. Levi didn't go in there often, left Erwin to battle on-screen wars and send his carefully nurtured Sims to work each day. Similarly, Erwin stayed outside of the small room, only aware of it's usual state; dark, smelly, organised chaos. 

Photography became Levi's hobby during their eldest child's studies, a subject and passion shared between the two which lasted much longer with Levi, his collection of vintage cameras taking pride of place amongst trays and chemicals. He'd developed family portraits, snaps from their travels, nature shots around the garden, anything. Levi didn't mind what he photographed, simply held up the lens at seemingly the right time every time, some spectacular results attained. 

Despite an air of cleanliness elsewhere, this was the one place where Levi appeared to 'let loose', a haven for stacks of film and shiny paper, all of which no doubt having a particular order but Erwin remained clueless, a foreigner in his own home. 

And that fact scared him. What would he find behind this door? Any attempts on Erwin's part to restore order to the tiny room had ended in the same futile waste of a good few hours, the haphazard piles rapidly reappearing like a show of defiance. It was as endearing as it was frustrating and Erwin grasped the handle, fully expecting to spend their last moments here using a sharp chiding tongue and a soap-loaded cloth. 

"Why wouldn't it be the same as always? Why am I even wondering what state it'll be in?" 

Erwin huffed to himself and opened up, instantly hit by the unexpected scent of lemon and bright sunlight, the black-out blinds required for a darkroom now gone. 

"Jesus..." 

He couldn't move, just stood there dumbstruck as he gazed into a completely empty space - no jars or lines of string crisscrossing from one wall to the other. No invasive smell of vinegar. Nothing but pristine floorboards and clean plaster. 

"What, did you think I'd leave it in a fucking mess?" 

"Christ, Levi!" Erwin's neck prickled as his silent reverie was shattered by a smug tone, nervous laughter forced from his lungs. "Don't do that!" 

"Do what? Clean?" 

Erwin simply grinned, unsure what unholy pact he must have wished for in his sleep to have this occur and he nodded, turning to look into faded silver eyes.

"Thanks. You made this a lot easier for me." 

"Whatever. Anyway." Levi put on mock boredom, sighing with affected fatigue as he smirked. "We've got all this free time now." 

There was nothing more to do but chuckle at Levi's risible suggestion and Erwin held out his hand, feeling for a smaller grip to lead into their garden for one final walk. 

~~~~~ 

Time. It flew by when it was craved, it stood still when no one wanted it. Either way, whichever the preference, sod's law would always dictate that you received the opposite and Erwin stood at the front gate, their lives stashed behind him in the van, his blue stare wavering in and out of focus. 

The house looked larger than he could remember, surely too big for them to have ever lived here alone and a cough from the removal man made Erwin jump, nerves frayed and soul torn in two. It had to be done. It was the right decision. We needed this. Would have gone crazy, otherwise. All the while, Erwin talked himself into believing that he hadn't made a huge mistake and he gulped hard, the lump in his throat threatening to turn into a full blown meltdown. 

"Levi…I'm sorry. We had to…"

"Erwin? It's ok. I understand. Now stop fucking bawling like a baby." 

"I'm…I'm not…" Erwin sniffed, tried to still his trembling bottom lip without much luck. "I just…I…"

"I know." Levi said all that he had to, yet again attempted to make this easier for his husband and he closed his eyes, strength once more mustered from deep within. "I know, Erwin. I love you." 

"Fuck, Levi. Don't. Just fucking don't." 

"Then get the fuck out of here, Erwin." 

"I can't…I love you too..." 

Tears fell unashamedly down Erwin's hot cheeks, spilling what felt like a lifetime's worth of saltwater and he squeezed his lids shut, fists balled tightly by his sides. The faintest of brushes graced Erwin's taught mouth, warm lips sliding over his own. He'd tell himself later that he dreamt it, use any excuse to make this as unreal as possible but right there and then, it broke him. Erwin gave a wretched sob, clenched hands now at his face as he dropped to his knees, wailing uncontrollably into the neatly pressed fabric of his slacks. 

"Erwin?" The voice was pure and strong, louder than it had been in years and Levi's words cut through Erwin's cries of anguish. "Go. Live." 

An icy touch brushed the nape of Erwin's neck, comforting regardless of temperature and he opened his eyes in a flash, saw the murky outline of his husband, his life, his everything and Erwin watched him walk away. Levi paused at the main door, glancing back with a genuine smile for the man crouched on the front lawn. He waved, a delicate gesture given before speaking in a tone reserved for the dead of night. 

"I'll always be around, Erwin." 

~~~~~

Three weeks had passed since that day, three weeks of well meaning family and friends visiting to help Erwin adjust to his new apartment. They hung pictures, assisted with unpacking, all beneath a veil of knowledge - old neighbours had talked, shared stories that told of the towering blonde losing it in public. No one could blame him. To leave the home he'd spent so long in with his partner was bound to make a mark, leave a cut so deep that it may never heal. 

However now Erwin grew tired of it all, appreciated the casseroles and kind advice, but he needed his space. His time. His thoughts. 

The evenings brought memories, both good and bad. Erwin sipped at a dark red wine, one from their once expansive collection and he sifted through the last box, a singular cardboard reminder of the move. He did it with joy though, four years of living without Levi in that place having finally come to an end, four years of being a widower rattling around in a massive house alone. No. Not alone. He'd always had Levi, even after death. 

A handful of postcards were pulled from the box, missives of a bygone day and one fluttered to the floor, Erwin's time-gnarled hand reaching to snatch it up. Only it wasn't a postcard. It was a photograph, one of them both in France where the particular wine originated from that Erwin could still taste heavy on his tongue. His breath became caught, a last gasp pushed from empty lungs as he stared down. 

Erwin remembered the exact time, the place, the setting up of Levi's tripod and how many times they tried to get the perfect picture, but he'd never set eyes on this before, presumed that it hadn't been deemed good enough for developing. Yet here it lay in his shaking palm, coincidence the furthest thing from Erwin's thoughts as he sank into his armchair, long gulps of his drink taken. 

Levi looked stunning. Usually did, but this was something different. The way his eyes lit up spoke of contentment, the absence of any annoyance on his face just embodied intense happiness and Erwin ignored the sting of more tears, a common occurence recently which he'd become weary of until now. 

"Levi…oh Levi." Erwin ran calloused fingers over the image, bathed in it's glory and he had a sudden sense of belonging, something he'd essentially run from but needed more than he knew. "Look at you. You made me the proudest man alive, you know? To have you on my arm…by my side...I…"

"Don't get so fucking sentimental, old man." 

"I'm reminiscing, Levi. Give me this?" 

"Fine."

Erwin settled, got comfortable as another night of talking presented itself. Was it all in his head? Erwin didn't care anymore. All he knew was that love had crossed boundaries and made him whole again, sent him to sleep and got him up in the morning. Only now, it was on neutral ground, a point which seemed inexplicably important. 

"So Levi?" Silence allowed Erwin to continue. "I guess you're not tied to the house after all?" 

"You try living with a screaming brat. We've done that shit. Put it behind us."

"And wasn't it the best time of our lives, Levi?" 

There was a moment when Erwin truly believed he may be speaking to himself, a faint pause that felt wrong and he inspected the fateful photograph again, eating it up and he shivered, unsure of why until Levi spoke again, his disembodied voice dripping with fulfillment. 

"Yea. Yea it was."

Erwin couldn't help it, bathed in the now surety of Levi actually being here, not dead, away from home and ready to build new memories, a smirk dancing on his lips as Erwin succumbed to beautiful fate. 

"Who is getting sentimental now, huh?"

"Fuck off, Erwin." 

"Yea yea. So. Movie night?"

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fic born from a dream.


End file.
